Tb update

Apparently my tb is in remission due to the drugs... I'm in the drs now and just had my follow up xray... Now waiting on word about what drugs and for how long I must continue them.

The cold arrived earlier this week.

The cold arrived earlier this week,
10/25/06 1207pm
filling the vacant seats occupied by southerly winds last. Next week will bring spring weather I'm sure.

This city is change as much as a thought unchecked.

Everyday I find myself anew.

Yesterday I held back 62 years of tears, as I stood beholding the child's faces of war weary british soldiers. They came unintentionally to rescue me, but instead they beautifully cried. They gave us food, tents that would cook anything you want. All I wanted for two weeks was boiled potato. They setup tents of doctors, but aside from my sand papery throat my only ailment was emotions I can't understand streamming from my eyes. And that only lasted for a few weeks. This tattoo I'll will hold one day as a badge of remembrance, a chance to tell two kids in a falafel shop about the place where my parents, and my brother and my sister and my brother and my sister and my brother and my sister all died leaving only two sisters of a family of ten alive. One day it will be my duty to tell of auschwitz. But today the beautiful faces of crying soldiers touches me.

A month ago I was a young travelling catholic trying to discern. Following prayers and hopes, not committing for fear I hadn't heard His voice yet. Not knowing if this is where I was supposed to be or if I was to fly off to lousiana, california, india, france or ireland. Now I sit on the third floor of a hostel typing by hallway light knowing this is okay. Knowing that God is taking from me the comfort of home. That I might understand homelessness. That I might be comfortable in it. I'm 26 and now homeless, smiling that God has been so gracious to let me be. A month and a half ago I saw death. I saw the living spectre trying to devour masses of people. Masses of forgotten street, bridge and station trash suffering fatal wounds. Smelling of dead flesh rotting, of unrine and shit in their pants or wrapping come clothes... Seeing old faces beaten by time, uncared for except by four or five passing strangers... I never had a home never seen a bed or felt sheets. I haven't eaten fresh food in years. Trash is my staple as much as insult and abuse. My friend was beaten by the police to death, he was blind and couldn't move when they told him to. They smile when they claim his death 'yeah I did that'. I'm just an old man of 60 knowing that i'm deserve to be treated just once as a human before I die. I'm the 25 year old hispanic drawn to India, and thrown into doing a job I fear, a job that I can't do... I cant ... I'm not worthy, they deserve someone holy, someone loving, a doctor a nurse, but God's sake let me do the laundry... That all I'm good for... Trust me. I'm the 25 year old who noticed this man, fragile, weak, smelling of shit and maggots... I'm the unsure man who asks some friends what to do. Mother's house... I'm the confused boy washing a man twice my senior as a smile of dignity beams forth from a sandpapered face. I'm the confused boy who doesn't know what to do as he starts dying with joy on his face, following orders from those wiser. I'm the man haunted by the beauty of a human dignified enough to die in a bed with cotton sheets, but tenacious enough not to die on a rail platform.

Tonight I slam some in a poetry club in nyc. My words speak of my youth and my now, the guns, thugs and pains of growing up in the wrong part of Brooklyn. I'm black but would it matter if I was brown? We live in the same place. What if I was the white mother of a biracial child. Broken with the stares, insults and burdens of loving a black man . I grew up in the hood, I had a bad life, so what? I spin my words into songs of hope and stories of love. Touch my face, I couldn't be more real. Hear my voice let it bring you to my world. My story rivets both my own body and the coffins of my past.

This is how I live. Moment by moment, shelter by shelter, story by story in the city that begs at her door "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."
108am

Beauty, oddity, and real life rabble-rousing in NYC and DC

So NYC is definately fun, most sundays I get to see several cast members from SNL, Conan, and other TV comedy shows for free doing improv at the Upright citizens brigade (second awning in the picture).Every sunday we arrive circa 7-715 with hopes of getting actual "tickets" but generally resigning ourselves to stand by... both are free, but getting tickets when the line is long is risky, it means that you might get a really bad position in the stand by if you don't get tickets... though almost everyone in the stand by gets in (I don't know of anyone being turned away). The only draw back of standby is that you have to sit inline for 2-3 hours and can't leave (we actually do send out some scouting and foraging parties to grab grub for us all).

This is the stage of the UCB theatre... (it's flush with ground level) I usually end up sitting on the ground right on it... instead of a chair (better view as the chairs left over when standby gets in are not primo.)
This is Rosh and Chantal at central park... for a while when the weather was good we'd go to central park and claim to study between classes... if you were in such beauty would you really study?
I found this funny... it's the ice cream machine in the dorms... "hmm... which ice cream do I want???" "Ice cream sandwich, chocolate eclair, White castle burgers, candy center crunch, creamsicle, reese's bar, klondike?? Definately White castle"
This is Chantal... She asked for it... really really she did... no lie, ask her!
There was a festival in little italy a bit back that we went to... it was cute and had a really impressive opera singer, but was basically food stands... nice lights though!
This is the girls on the bus as we headed down to DC... we missed the first bus at 6pm and ended up taking teh 7pm... but that gave us time to find some chinese food in china town, nyc... as the bus was a china town to china town express. the ride was fun and filled with nutella, gatorade and other fun things like the toilet door behind chantal openning constantly and belching it's hideous stench into our polite conversations.

When we finally arrived in DC, Chantal and Rosh were attacked by a rather large puppy demanding that we adopt a pet.
This was outside Union Station in DC... I really like the bird in midflight.
This was inside. I really liked the light falling in.
This is the Capitol... we couldn't figure out how to go in, and the Brits really didn't want to... they apparently aren't at all interested in American Government... I don't blame them. The majority of Europeans I know really really really dislike Bush. And that also seems to go for New Yorkers.
This is Rosh, Reflecting at the reflecting pool outside the Capitol.
This is chantal getting wacked in the face by the map during a sustained gust of wind.
That's hetti hiding from the Capitol police... chickens are good at camoflage.
We decided while walking through one of the sculpture gardens to walk into a sculpture... and rosh came up with the idea for this fun shot...
We met a squirel during our lunch outside of an art museum that loved chocolate chip cookies from subway... but he couldn't hold his cookie... after eating a little bit he ended up running around and did a 360 spin in the air... too much sugar...
this is me in the Hirshorn... I love this shot... and Hetti had to get in it as well, but she was cooler than I and only is showing a leg.
This was in the Hirshorn and was a bit trippy... I don't know if I like it enough to want it in my house or if it makes me sick at all... but I what was I saying? I was confused by the colours...
Chantal decided to squash the washington monument...
Hetti decided to eat it...
And rosh won the coolnes competition by making it come out of her mouth.
Hetti also learned how to fly on the trip.


And then I went somewhere I hadn't been in over 20 years... the vietnam memorial.

I'm pretty sure I found my grandfather's name... but oddly when I went there I realised I didn't know his whole name... only that I'm Edward the second, Manuel the third, and Alonzo the nth... odd how something so common for most families to know is lost in families that struggled. I'm pretty sure it was Alonzo, Manuel Bustos from San Antonio, TX... If I would have had his death letter with me still I would have been able to corroborate his Unit affiliation also... but I think I have the copy in Iowa still... not sure.



We managed to hit almost all of the major monuments... and got to see the needle at dusk... it was beautiful.
AndI'm a freak.
This was a pretty shot from when we walked around the tidal basin...
(Jefferson memorial)
we also got aquainted with the DC metro system... it's a bit complicated compared to NYC where you pay only one fare for how ever long your ride is. In DC you have to figure out how far you are going, station to station, then where you want to return to, then add it up and put that much money on your card... sounds easy... except when you enter a station, it's really hard to figure out where you are going exactly (being new to the city), and then trying to find the station location on a rather impressively large board of names, do math and then figure out how to pay is a bit taxing... luckily the metro workers were nice and helped out.
the first night (friday night) we went to the Georgetown area after hearing from a DC cop (who was from Russia via a stint in NYC) that there was food to be had in Georgetown... so we caught the subway and hoofed it over... noticing all the college students dressed up to go clubbing. We ended up walking trying to decide what to eat, when we finally decided on this american-mexican restaurant (I don't even want to call the food it served tex mex...) I went online on my Cellphone and found out about a cool rooftop after getting a review about it... so when we entered, we were about to be placed downstairs, when I asked for the roof top (not knowing exactly what that was) and promptly being rewarded with this cute little roof top area in nice cool weather. The food was on the better side of okay, the service was okay, but it was a nice place to chill. Towards the end of our meal, the downstairs was flooded with a sorrority party... and girlish screams could be heard everywhere... sometimes I'm really happy I've never dated a sorrority girl... I think I'd want to kill myself if she behaved like that around me.

my cellphone came in handy again the next day in discovering another cool place... this beautiful park...



we stumbled across it as we were trying to find a place to eat the ice cream we bought (I'm quite notorious for eating at least one or three servings of icecream a day!)... Earlier in the day we had eaten at a rather tastey new orleans cafe and found an incredibly cool area of dc (the name of which escapes me right now). After sitting in the park, eating ice cream and studying abit, we headed out, but decided to head back as my cellphone/pda once again saved the day and directed us to a series of jazz clubs in the area (louie armstrong used to play near this park) where we were directed to a really cool bring your own beer, food, etc. club that had an incredible atmosphere, good music, and a great reason to exist (to propagate jazz and education on Jazz... it was a nonprofit initiative of several groups).... the place had four distinct but continous "zones" the first was when you entered, a few chess tables, the second along the right wall was dinning tables, on the oposing wall was couches facing the stage, then as you went in further, you stepped down a few stairs into the last area which was the club... several small round tables with chairs, dimly lit, as music from sax, piano, bass and drum vibrated the air that surrounded people seemingly suspended in a trance but also seeming so alive that their realness seemed to verify your existence.

Few times in my life felt more like a movie or a dream.

The next day we all slept in again, checked out and headed downtown where we meandered abit, was unimpressed by the minuteness of the white house and then headed back to NYC.

quick note

so, if you haven't noticed my blog looks different... it crashed... again... so while i'm currently too busy to be bothered with trying to rewrite the code here and there, I'm leaving this canned one up... enjoy. also it's been almost a month since I last posted! I'll definately get on to that soon...

Brooklyn bridge

9/25/06
535pm (i should be in class, but instead I'm on my way, taking the subway)

Have you ever entered a place and realised that the employees genuinely want you there, more than any of their other customers? I just had this odd experience and then found out both of them were texans, one having grown up in brownsville, the other living and frequenting the same bars I did in austin.

Crazy, random, new york.
540p