I'M PUBLISHED!!!!

So this is a prayer of mine that is now published!!! I can now be officially CITED! YAY!!!! (Citation follows the prayer... OF COURSE!!!)
:-D

My hands, my feet, and my breath: words and body,

my very life,

my soul, my heart, and my love,

these I surrender.

Should my path grow dark, the night long, the terrors close,

should my heart be shattered, my mind lost, my very body torn,

I vow, I choose, I know,

I will follow

you, my glorious Lord, God and King.

To your invitation, I cry out, YES!

And I live

for you.

Alonzo, E. (2005) "Prayer of Hope" Teen Prayers by Teens. Boston, Pauline Press.

good/bad times

So... I won an award for
"CA of the Month" (resident assistant of the month)

And my academic project "Study Sundays" also won an award.
"for best Academic intiative"

Both awards were campus wide for september.

Then last night I won bingo five times (three in a row, two separately) I won four DVDs, a shirt and a blanket. I gave away one of the DVDs for a cupcake (since I didnt want it and people kept getting mad that I was winning so much).

Then I slept through my classes today (I took a sleeping pill that was supposed to make me sleep 8 hours... it lasted 12-13 hours.) So that SUCKs.

Connexion?

I was just thinking... that this is the way I felt as a Youth Minister...

could it be that God is calling me to do something else, to devote myself to something else? or simply to be more balanced?

I've had odd offers in my recent years, to lead this or lead that... be part of this big thing... impact peoples lives greatly over here... no come over here!

it's confusing... cause all I want is to BE RESPONSIBLE SOLELY for myself... but he pushes me elsewhere...

Why can't I be a hermit God?

Why must I be force somewhere uncomfortable for me... where I feel so much a failure... why must you place me where I feel this?

I like simplicity... yet you make my life so complex!

Is it worth it?

For the first time in 2.5 years I'm not going to be on the honors list this semester... wow... it feels so bad... yet partially relieving that I don't have to push... I just have to get by this semester... but I feel so much a failure, if I don't do my best...

and I'm not...

I wonder if its from being a CA or if its being a person without willpower to drive myself to do more than one thing at a time...

if it is being a CA is it worth it? or should I quit next semester to bring my grades back up? or should I risk failing again and possibly messing my grad school application up seriously?

it'd be easier to give up being a CA if I was in texas... I'd not be in such debt... :-
but here... I need it to survive and not be in extraordinary debt when I graduate... so its not so easy to sacrifice for my grades.

SCHNIGLE-FRITZ!

GRRRR....

so life is a bit weird now... busy with house activites, and with school... I have a test tomorrow, but I'm not feeling good... I just want to curl up and cry.

Kat and I are still weird... sometimes I get such a strong interior knowledge that we're supposed to get back together... at others, I hear Kat wanting to run far away, at the same time as her wanting me not to date anyone else.

It's really stressful... wanting to love someone so much, who at times seems to want to return it, but mostly doesn't want to show it or acknowledge it, and at other times wants to run far away.

She loves me at one moment, only to freak out the next because of some small mistake that makes her no longer perfect, that she cant deal with.

Why are relationships (even former ones) so difficult on the heart?

On top of that, my GPA is taking a nose dive this semester... as I'm expecting to get all B's... not exactly exciting or desirable.

Gar... on top of that I'm not perfect, though even I would like to be.

AMAZING!

This day has been schweet!!!

people left and right telling me happy birthday, making a point to say it! (Even people I've had to document!)

One guy said I was the coolest CA (aka. RA) ever...

I'm really surprised how many people care!

YAY!


(other than that, I did amazingly poor on my test today... gah... this is gonna suck to bring back up!)

Oh Happy DAY or: How I Learned to Stop Studying and Love the Residents

So I've gotten alot of people telling me Happy Birthday today(and it's only 430am!) its AMAZING! So many people made a point of stopping by and saying it around midnight! I LOVE RESIDENTS!

Some even posted it on their blog or on facebook!

And I especially love two amazing women on the third floor!
who surprised me with an amazing gift!


So I walk out of my room around 3 or 4 am and find baloons on my door and a sign :-)
And I'm so happy that the girls did this!



































Then I wander to the restroom (my reason for leaving my room) and find another poster!





















Then after leaving the restroom, I see one on the fire door at the end of the hall










So I decide to grab my camera and go on a hunt!










I found one on the exit towards Oak/Elm!























One on the restroom downstairs























And one on the door towards Barton...






















THEN! I notice one in the stairwell going up to the third floor!





















And find one on the Girls restroom upstairs






















On the fourth floor white board...







In the north stair well between 3rd and 2nd






















(yes this is a picture of me with straightened hair)






And finally I discovered that I missed one on my own floor! On the intramurals board!
















THANK YOU GIRLS FOR MAKING MY BIRTHDAY START OFF SO AWESOME!!!

YOU GIRLS ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!