"my soul is waiting for the Lord, I count on his word. My
soul is longing for the Lord more than watchmen for daybreak."
psalm 130
I'm in the midst of petitioning an answer from God. I know He'll answer me, but I still long for His word. Because once He tells me, I can know what He wants, and once I know, I can go. In the meantime I wait patiently, longingly, lovingly for His nod.
Sometimes I feel guilty about taking today off... but then I remember why.
My mind needs a break...
Yesterday I saw something that may haunt my memory every time I think of Calcutta, see a wound, a shin, kneel or see dirty white yarn. Amongst other possible memory triggers.
Some things are so horrific you can't help but have a minor psychological trauma attached.
Somethings are so bizzare that you wonder if they really existed.
It's one thing to see a fresh massive trauma in the USA, something that though I've never seen, I think I could now handle.
On a more cheerful note, I've been growing a fondness for bannanas and cornflakes... since they're exceptionally unoffensive to my stomach. And usually rather tasty.
I was eating Cornflakes and mango, but I think mango is acidic and lately I've been having some acid problems in my stomach... so I'm trying to cut as much out as possible.
I'm hoping to go buy a Churta (spelling?) or two... they're lightweight shirts, and currently my shirts are tearing or really really hot... so I need new ones for my health/covering my body needs.
I found this cool little Catholic shop near the Mother house, and the other day I was browsing their stock and found a gem!
St. Faustina's Diary!!
I'm so excited!
It was really cheap (210 rps new... which is roughly $4.50) so I purchased it... why? because I had listened to one of Fr. Stan's Podcasts Called "Conquered by Meekness" (A podcast is basically a blog made with audio files instead of text). The words I heard were incredibly beautiful and touching. Especially entry #1685... (you'll have to listen to it or buy the book to find out what the entry is!)
I also think I'm going to raid the catholic bookstores around here before I go back to the USA... get some really amazing books brand new for really really cheap.
So I've been praying to find out where I'm supposed to be in the fall... I was pretty sure I knew, but a few opportunities showed that I needed to discern.
So I prayed a novena to Blessed Teresa of Calcutta... I didn't get any answers, but I prayed it again and again. (And I'll probably continue to pray it while I'm here).
I didn't really give any specifics on how God could tell me His will on the first Novena, but on the second and third, I said "I'm going to NYC, if You want to tell me where You want me to go, give me a red rose for NYC (big apple), a white/green rose for Ireland, and a yellow or orange rose for India."
Then on the third novena, somewhere around the sixth day it was the feast of the Holy Trinity... and I got my answer in the form of three roses, one was given directly to me, and one was given to each of my companions... they were all red...
So no fear that I'll stay here... or go to Ireland.
You can find the novena on the http://motherteresa.org/ website under prayer and then novena.
last night my eye got worse... so bad that any light on it caused great pain... even light shinning into my left eye (that wasn't irritated) would cause pain in my right (I figured how this worked this morning... if one pupil dialates the other tries to as well...)
And headlights and artificial light hurt most (flourescent was the worst).
Even if my eyes were closed, and a light shined on my face, I'd have pain in direct proportion to it's intensity... so a really bright headlight would be a large dagger being thrust into my eye socket.
Everyone wanted to help and everyone was concerned... but after the 10th (litterally around 30-40 people asked me) person asking me what's wrong, trying to help, offering their oppinion, the throbbing pains not being helped, and my stomach still growling, I got rather irritable.
So I've come to the conclusion that I don't suffer pain very well at all. Instead of finding joy in all things, pain makes me want to kill the next person to ask what's wrong. Well maybe not kill or even maim, but somewhere approaching yelling.
This is definitely something I need to work on.
States I've lived for at least a month (I'll be in NY this coming fall)
create your own visited states map
States I've visited... I've probably visited more on the east coast, but I'll hold out on changing the picture until the fall... thats when I'll definately have done them all...
create your own visited states map
So today my little sister graduates High School and gets confirmed...
I'm proud of you!
Congratulations Brittany, I love you.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese.
(courtesy of my little sister Brittany)
What do you call cheese that you eat when you're sneezing?
Na-Aa-achooo cheese.
(courtesy of Frederik, in response to Brittany's joke)
