what what and what not.

9/20/06
248am
I incessantly tear at newspapers looking for both mischief and a place to sleep the night, week and possibly month.
Maybe weekly rent in questionably safe harlem or unsavoury southern bronx is the way to go? Or perhaps nightly rent in hostels? Either would be cheaper than rent in a traditional and difficultly gained appartment in lower, midtown east, or upper east side manhattan. Which are the places I want to live.

I'm tired of having my life divorced from the people I want to be near. From the people my age, and who know what it's like to be a twenty something, moderately affluent and in new york.

This city is magical, if you have enough money or luck to live in the midst of it all.

I'm too old to not live my life to the fullest, to live life focused on trifles on issues and things so small they hardly dignify a person. And what is money to someone who knows God will always provide?

When you live far away you miss out on the perchance happenings that always seem to require stumbling blindly and unto something magnificent.

I stumbled unto something I didn't expect in the least. Something I actually decided to actively resist. A girl. I have had several women in this city give me the all too long stare of interest coupled with the smirk that advertises availability and interest. Several have tried to talk to me, several have put out what they see as safely ambiguous flirtting that is not ambiguous and thus not truly safe.

But this one found a backdoor. I've not quite figured out which door I left open, but apparently I did leave at least one open. She very very different from who I am now, yet at the same time so similar that I've never felt so cared about, so cherished by anyone i've ever dated. She can't figure it out either, as a similar confusion is about her head.

Yet worst of all she's one of those small islanders that we rebelled against ever so many years ago to gain our obvious deserved independence.

Anyhow this is me signing off from the throne room in jazz on the villa in harlem.
318 am.