I'M PUBLISHED!!!!

So this is a prayer of mine that is now published!!! I can now be officially CITED! YAY!!!! (Citation follows the prayer... OF COURSE!!!)
:-D

My hands, my feet, and my breath: words and body,

my very life,

my soul, my heart, and my love,

these I surrender.

Should my path grow dark, the night long, the terrors close,

should my heart be shattered, my mind lost, my very body torn,

I vow, I choose, I know,

I will follow

you, my glorious Lord, God and King.

To your invitation, I cry out, YES!

And I live

for you.

Alonzo, E. (2005) "Prayer of Hope" Teen Prayers by Teens. Boston, Pauline Press.

good/bad times

So... I won an award for
"CA of the Month" (resident assistant of the month)

And my academic project "Study Sundays" also won an award.
"for best Academic intiative"

Both awards were campus wide for september.

Then last night I won bingo five times (three in a row, two separately) I won four DVDs, a shirt and a blanket. I gave away one of the DVDs for a cupcake (since I didnt want it and people kept getting mad that I was winning so much).

Then I slept through my classes today (I took a sleeping pill that was supposed to make me sleep 8 hours... it lasted 12-13 hours.) So that SUCKs.

Connexion?

I was just thinking... that this is the way I felt as a Youth Minister...

could it be that God is calling me to do something else, to devote myself to something else? or simply to be more balanced?

I've had odd offers in my recent years, to lead this or lead that... be part of this big thing... impact peoples lives greatly over here... no come over here!

it's confusing... cause all I want is to BE RESPONSIBLE SOLELY for myself... but he pushes me elsewhere...

Why can't I be a hermit God?

Why must I be force somewhere uncomfortable for me... where I feel so much a failure... why must you place me where I feel this?

I like simplicity... yet you make my life so complex!

Is it worth it?

For the first time in 2.5 years I'm not going to be on the honors list this semester... wow... it feels so bad... yet partially relieving that I don't have to push... I just have to get by this semester... but I feel so much a failure, if I don't do my best...

and I'm not...

I wonder if its from being a CA or if its being a person without willpower to drive myself to do more than one thing at a time...

if it is being a CA is it worth it? or should I quit next semester to bring my grades back up? or should I risk failing again and possibly messing my grad school application up seriously?

it'd be easier to give up being a CA if I was in texas... I'd not be in such debt... :-
but here... I need it to survive and not be in extraordinary debt when I graduate... so its not so easy to sacrifice for my grades.

SCHNIGLE-FRITZ!

GRRRR....

so life is a bit weird now... busy with house activites, and with school... I have a test tomorrow, but I'm not feeling good... I just want to curl up and cry.

Kat and I are still weird... sometimes I get such a strong interior knowledge that we're supposed to get back together... at others, I hear Kat wanting to run far away, at the same time as her wanting me not to date anyone else.

It's really stressful... wanting to love someone so much, who at times seems to want to return it, but mostly doesn't want to show it or acknowledge it, and at other times wants to run far away.

She loves me at one moment, only to freak out the next because of some small mistake that makes her no longer perfect, that she cant deal with.

Why are relationships (even former ones) so difficult on the heart?

On top of that, my GPA is taking a nose dive this semester... as I'm expecting to get all B's... not exactly exciting or desirable.

Gar... on top of that I'm not perfect, though even I would like to be.

AMAZING!

This day has been schweet!!!

people left and right telling me happy birthday, making a point to say it! (Even people I've had to document!)

One guy said I was the coolest CA (aka. RA) ever...

I'm really surprised how many people care!

YAY!


(other than that, I did amazingly poor on my test today... gah... this is gonna suck to bring back up!)

Oh Happy DAY or: How I Learned to Stop Studying and Love the Residents

So I've gotten alot of people telling me Happy Birthday today(and it's only 430am!) its AMAZING! So many people made a point of stopping by and saying it around midnight! I LOVE RESIDENTS!

Some even posted it on their blog or on facebook!

And I especially love two amazing women on the third floor!
who surprised me with an amazing gift!


So I walk out of my room around 3 or 4 am and find baloons on my door and a sign :-)
And I'm so happy that the girls did this!



































Then I wander to the restroom (my reason for leaving my room) and find another poster!





















Then after leaving the restroom, I see one on the fire door at the end of the hall










So I decide to grab my camera and go on a hunt!










I found one on the exit towards Oak/Elm!























One on the restroom downstairs























And one on the door towards Barton...






















THEN! I notice one in the stairwell going up to the third floor!





















And find one on the Girls restroom upstairs






















On the fourth floor white board...







In the north stair well between 3rd and 2nd






















(yes this is a picture of me with straightened hair)






And finally I discovered that I missed one on my own floor! On the intramurals board!
















THANK YOU GIRLS FOR MAKING MY BIRTHDAY START OFF SO AWESOME!!!

YOU GIRLS ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!

Packages

so I've been getting cds and packages for a few days, but i've been waiting for this one... Jennifer Knapp Kansas!! finally came in today... one of my all time favourites... its awesome... and I love the simple music complemented by powerful vocals... its amazing... I love it...

I also love all the bike stuff I got two days ago... got a truing stand, a seat, a multi tool, a spoke wrench, a computer and a cadence adapter, a hydrapak and various other goodies... all in all 200$... but ti came in such a small box for that cost... :-( but I guess its all really really really worth it!

Humility

Referring to the certified miracle which is required for sainthood, Dziwisz said: "The Holy Father didn't want to hear talk of such things. He would say `If by chance something should happen, God makes miracles, not me. I pray. These are mysteries. Let's not talk of these things.'

"But there were so many miracles which happened during his life," his longtime secretary said, without elaborating.

(http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,167205,00.html)

oh God, bless us with humility... love... and desire for You and Your will.

How much am I ready to claim the good things that happen through me? even if I know it can't possibly be me... and how often do I justify the bad, the dark, the sinful, as okay, something I might as well succumb to?

Johannes, ora pro Nobis!

If only I had a fraction of his Love...

John Paul's eyes were practically closed during a Mass celebrated at the foot of his bed in the late afternoon of March 31, the account said.

"But at the moment of the consecration, he weakly raised his right hand two times, that is, on the (raising up) of the bread and wine. He made a gesture indicating he was trying to strike his chest during the recitation" of the Lamb of God prayer, the Vatican said.
(http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,169713,00.html)

this weekend

I'm really excited for this weekend! I get to go out of town to DSM... for a few days... to catch up on class reading and hang out with some friends... it'll be a nice escape... and I get to go out with Kat, Emily and Christina for a bit friday...

otherwise, things are going well... busy busy busy... but I just got a few cds in the mail!!!

Bob Dylan's greatest hits #3
Caedmon's Call Chronicles
and Raze...

Tomorrow I'm expecting
one of my favourite CDS of all time:
Jennifer Knapp Kansas...!

So excited!

test

just took a test in my ethical theory class...
I think it went well... the essay was half about Aquinas.

still feeling sickish... can't figure out why, the docs did blood work and xrayed my lungs yesterday, and no infection... so the assumption that I pulled out of the doc (they apparently don't like to diagnose) was that it was my asthma (and I added in my mind, and Allergies)... just really bad asthma and allergies.

had a lot of sleep last night and my body still feels sick... maybe it's AAA, Asthma allergies, anxiety... ;-)

c'est la vie... going back to class...

BUSY

So lately I've been really busy, working on an forming an academic program for the six local houses (and all the suprising politics that comes with that) and being sick... (in addition to school, the rest of my work and friends... who've been dying to see me...

Got my old webpage partially up (not fully functional, but mostly)... http://www.public.iastate.edu/~sirhair/

and otha stuff


:-)
Edward

Good times good times

played midnight ultimate frisbee today... a pick up game that Becky and Bridget called, but ended up being like 10 of my house guys... it was fun... we played with a disc with lights... Ive never seen one but it was fun... playing DG tomorrow wiht some guys... I have FREE TIME now! the last two days I've been stuck in my room... 8a-9p yesterday, and 8a-6p today with lunch brought to us... yay! I'm Free! Got a date with confession tomorrow PRAISE GOD!!!

Devout catholic of the orthodox variety

Devout catholic of the orthodox variety
I neither classify as a “conservative” or “liberal” in the American senses of the words, though many might label me conservative, I thoroughly believe conservativism and liberalism are both perversions of the virtue of justice. One withholds justice due to some idea that “old” ways are right by virtue of being “old” and the other the same, though in regards to “new” ways. I believe that there is a thing such as truth, and one of humanity’s duties is to discover it. Likewise, I believe that once truth is verified, denial of it is cowardice; rejection, insanity; and change of it impossible (though it may be clarified to a greater extent). I believe we all are sinners and fall short of perfection, and because of that we cannot devalue others for a sin different than ours, but we must all the more embrace them in love, and in love recognize when we are obliged to confront their sin and when it is most prudent to not, and offer just your presence. I have many friends who know my beliefs are in union with the Church’s (and most had large misunderstandings about what the Church teaches) and they know I disagree with, and am sorrowed by, their choices when they sin. But most of all they know, despite this disagreement I love and care for them as friends that I would sacrifice much, if not everything for. I am imperfect. I am a sinner. And how ungrateful would I be if I, who have been forgiven so much and had the chasm that separated me from God cast so quickly aside, enforced a chasm between myself and others or withheld forgiveness or belittled someone for their sin.

Back

I'm Back!

At school and ready for the year... I'm a CA this year (community advisor, other schools call it RA, Resident assistant), so I've been moved in... Originally they gave me the keys/room assignment for a girls floor... but they move me to my floor when I was confused by it...

My flight here went well... I choose to get bumped to a later flight, in exchange for some food money and a 300$ voucher (I was considering the free round trip ticket, so I could go visit alaska, but I figured the 300$ ticket would be more useful in the medium run... since it's 100$ to reschedule canceled flights, and I have two canceled right now).

I stayed at Rachels house tuesday night, with her family which was nice and fun... it's always interesting to be with large families, and rather cool too. Then yesterday Becky brought me up to Ames, and we had dinner at Hickory Park(?) which was surpisingly good. After she left I went to walmart to buy some stuff... and found a 5$ beard trimmer! which is cool! because it's 5$!!!

Now I await a beautiful woman to arrive back in Des Moines Saturday!

YAY GOD!

stations in louisisana

Hello everyone! This is Kat. I know, I know..."Um...Yes?" is not my blog, but my dear friend Edward asked me to update it for him as I have more access to the internet than he does.

So you are probably wondering how he is and what he is doing...

He is at a retreat house called Maryhill living with a community of men, including his best friend from college, Ben. He's working there (or working for his boarding) doing odd jobs, including designing two grottos to Mary: one at the retreat house and one for Steubenville South. But the best part, in my opinion anyway, is that his room is right next to Jesus' room! As well as I could understand, there is a chapel with the Eucharist in the center of the house and his room is neighboring the chapel. It was super fun when I talked to him after he'd gotten there and he said "If I have MY window open and HE has HIS window open, I can see Him from my room!" (Apparently if he opens the tabernacle doors, he can have adoration anytime he wants because there's a permenant monstrance set up in there.) Well it's pretty stinkin' cool to be neighbors to Jesus anyways. :)

Here is something he sent to me today. [Yeah...he likes being holy. :)]

hey just got out of my divine mercy/adoration hour and thought you'd
like to see what I came up with:
Stations of the cross:
1st- condemned
How often have we: Failed to be just or accept rightful authority?
2nd- carries cross
How often have we: Thought we could do it without Christ's help?
failed to carry ours? been prideful?
3rd- falls
How often have we: feared to follow for fear of falling in the esteem
of others? feared to follow because of who it might make us?
4th greets mary
How often have we: forgotten our pain and comforted others? spoken to
others about Christ?
5th simon helps
How often have we: felt as if we are burdened by our family or
friend's crosses? not offered to help others?
6th veronica wipes face
How often have we: done all we can even the smallest action, to those
dying or in pain? Forgotten to show others our love for them, through
small acts of love?
7th falls 2nd time
How often have we: fallen again and decided to stay down and enjoy the
mud? not persevered? not focused on God but on things of the World?
8th greets women
How often have we: Failed to bring others to Christ? Failed to belong
to Christ centered groups or made Him the center of other groups, even
if its just in our hearts?
9th stripped
How often have we: failed to maintain the dignity of other people's or
our own bodies? Stripped them or ourselves?
10th nailed to cross
How often have we: Been willing to accept piercing criticism and pain
that sends shudders to our very core?
11th dies
How often have we: been willing to die for our faith? Made it that important?
12th placed in arms of mary
How often have we: not given comfort to those in pain or been late in
giving when we could have been quicker?
13th placed in tomb
How often have we: enjoyed the darkness? Hidden from our
responsibilities? permited ourselves to remain in depression by
nursing it and not seeking help? not reached out to those in
depression or darkness?

Well there's some of the things that were running through my head as
we mediated on the stations today. I think it's a good examination of
conscience

...So that's all (this is Kat again). Have a wonderful day!

God bless you!

Over... sorrta

finals are over! YAY!... but now I feel like something is ended... some time of my life... and it feels something greater than just this semester has ended... as if I'm endeavouring into a new part of my life... :-/ I wonder what that means... the last time I had this feeling, my life changed drastically... though this time I doubt drastic changes will occur... I wonder and wait for what subtle changes the Lord has in store for me this summer... perhaps I will learn where I'm to be in life? perhaps I will see things in ways I've forgotten or never seen? It'll be nice to be living at the retreat site in Louisiana... (maryhill in alexandria/pineville)

and BEING NEXT DOOR TO 24 HOUR JESUS!!! YAY!!! And being with my little brother (Lambda Omega Alpha, Catholic Fraternity at UT austin.) who I've grown so much spiritually with at various points in my life!

FINALS

havent posted in a bit... and probably wont for a few days due to finals, and final papers... have fun!

A key to the doctrine of the Eucharist by Abbot Vonier

So I'm reading this book, and so far I've found some very interesting things:

"Anyone who has faith is in the supernatural state, and therefore is directly in touch with Christ's life, even though he be actually in the state of mortal sin." p4


This is a bit convicting, and true... regardless of what we desire, once we've received the Gift of Faith, we can never truly turn our backs on the Truth... until the moment we make a sin of "formal infidelity"... the only one of which I know is that sin that witches embrace when they write and sign a statement declaring that Christ is not their master, and that Christ is a lie.

"If we really believe that the Church possesses enough power to wipe away sin, we assume, as well, that sin is compatible with membership in Christ's mystical Body." p4-5


Wow... sin doesn't kick you out of the Church, only out of the ability to receive grace... this line has never been shown to me... but it makes much more sense! This also calls me to humility and love of our brethren, and brings comfort to me when I sin, that I am still part of the Body.

"To every one that hath shall be given, and he shall abound, but from him that hath not, that also which he seemeth to have shall be taken away" p8 mt 25:29

I've never seen MT 25 written this way with "seemeth to have"... and this makes more sense and is seemingly more compatible with God's love... he doesn't take that which you have, but in his love he takes the blindness from our eyes, and shows us that we don't possess those things we THINK we have. He shows us how empty our "possessions" are with out receiving them truly from the only One who can really give anything.


"Is not the Son of God made Man, the Sacrament par excellence the magnum sacramentum, the invisible made visible." p9

:-) YAY JESUS!!!
Magnum Saramentum! The Great Sacrament! Something only Catholics and Orthodox really understand! That GOD so loved the world that HE BECAME FLESH! Not to tell us He hates our FLESH but to show us that He LOVES our FLESH! Just as much as our SPIRIT! He wanted to show us that he loves and respects us how he created us, an inseparable body and spirit mix.