Mass

Went to mass today... and told a few of my friends that I hope to be leaving in January... they understand, but they'll miss me... Susan says she sees something that I don't... and several others have said the same... I don't know... maybe its because of my past that God gave it to me... maybe... Susan says that when people have it, they seem to show up in a place for a short amount of time before being sent somewhere else where it's needed... its strange because everytime I move somewhere I always feel oppressed and attacked, and only at the end of my time do I feel the peace of God... maybe thats why He sends... maybe. I wish I knew the best way to serve Him... I wish I knew what to say to those who attack Him... I wish I knew... Susan impressed me greatly tonight, someone was attacking God, and I was wondering if I should say something, and if so, what, what would the person be willing to hear, and not turn away the person even more from God? Susan spoke up, and defended Him... and then I felt God telling me what to say...and I said it, the funny thing is, that the person should have heard what God wanted him to hear, but I don't think he wanted to hear it... he liked his own way too much, that he wasn't willing to see God's way, even though Jesus was speaking in this man's own language...

I guess I should be eternally grateful for what God has given me... for the gift of knowing Him... the gift of loving Him... I guess God was humbling me to prayer... to know that when it's God's perfect time, this person will experience Him, and then this person will decide... all I can do is pray, and listen to the Spirit... do what He says, and trust and know He will do the rest.

Yahweh... the eternal I am... the constant lover of the world, the constant lover of man. I am in awe of thy wonder. Even when you use me, you humble me ever more.

I love you,
Edward