I have absolutely no one to grieve with.

I just discovered another side effect of having a relationship that you expect to go onwards to marriage...

When you expect to give your heart to someone that you love, you guard yourself from relationships that that person might be threatened by, and relationships that your character might be threatened by... e.g., you stop, slow down, or end any relationship you might have with the opposite sex.

Which is great! Because the reward is great as well, and the dignity of the relationship and the other person demands it.

But when its over, you have to start over... finding friends you can call family.

I don't have any.

And my dog's about to die.

And I can't cry with anyone.

I have no one to hold me.

No one to let me cry in their lap...

no one.

I'm evacuated of all family.

An alien in a hospitable, but foriegn land.