YAY

I think I'm healthy (well not fully but only a few more days and this congestion should be gone). and I got at least 3 A's in my classes, with the fourth class most likely an A, also. This last week Lee was sick (I was too) so he didn't do youth night, so I had to... it turned out really well... we talked about Ambrose, and the gospel... the activity was having three students act out a scene (of their choice) and then three youth that watched it one at a time (with the rest waiting outside) saying what they saw... noting that all the stories were similar, and accurate, but also complemented by the others, and we related that to the gospels... and how each person needs to hear things in different ways... that we should reach others where they are.

sick

sick sick sick...

Usually I get sick after school ends.. this time, it seems the bugs are preemptively striking... next week is finals, I've got one on monday (photog) one on tuesday (I'm pretty sure it's astronomy) and two on thursday (logic, and psych). Yay... my official resignation was put in on tuesday, and on the 28th I'm no longer the Youth Minister. on the 30th I hope to move to IOWA! (yes I actually said Iowa in a positive manner). I've been training Lee over the last few weeks in how to handle the youth and develop a Youth ministry program... he's coming along, and I'm sure with help from the volunteers, he'll do quite well.

Just went to the eye doc, and got a picture of the inside of my eyes... so these are my eyes, if you want a better view, check out the free software at www.optos.com.

Right eye!

This is the left eye...

If you want to check it out, view the whole image (click on it) and then right click and save the file. Then open the optos software, and open up these images for some quite interesting eyes!

Scott Hahn

Here's a brief overview of what Scott talked about:

He talked about his conversion story in detail... how his questions and study as a Presbyterian seminarian(?) and minister lead him to a greater understanding of the truth about Christianity... he talked about St. John Chrystostom, Augustin, and other Church fathers broke open scripture for the first time in a way he had never experienced... in a way that made sense like no protestant theology could. He compared Moses and Jesus' stories, from infancy to the desert, where Israel failed, but Jesus succeeded... he made the point that Jesus quoted Moses' chastisements of the Jewish people when they failed (in Deut)...

He also talked about how Jesus and Moses both chose 12 to rule and 70 to govern.

"the new testament is concealed in the old, the old is revealed in the new" -St. Augustin

How the Transfiguration had a parallel with Mt. Sinai... how the exodus of old Israel (Moses'), was going to be fulfilled by Jesus after the Passover (Easter)

12 baskets of food collected after the loaves of fish represented ample provisions for the 12 tribes...

Passover was one of the greatest Jewish Feast days...
with 3 important parts:
1. Slaughter the lamb
2. Sprinkle the lamb's Blood
3. EAT THE LAMB

Jesus fulfilled the old testament Passover by instituting the Eucharist...

He talked about how his first job after Presb. Seminary was to be Pastor at Trinity Presb. near D.C... and his first series of sermons was on the Gospel of John... as he went the congregation Raved but he was several weeks a head and he hit a stumbling block ... That's right... JOHN 6... and he realised that Jesus was absolutely LITERAL in his statements... (he even tried to look at the original languages and Church fathers all of whom SAID THE SAME THING... that it WAS TRULY FLESH AND TRULY BODY)

(the NIV translation: of John 6)
⁵³Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. ⁵⁴Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. ⁵⁵For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. ⁵⁶Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him.

He then promptly realised he COULDN'T preach this because he would get fired, and he just had a new child and new wife he had to support... so he one day announced he would end his series on John after chapter 5. (He went on to Hebrews and other books...)

He noted that there is only ONE time that the phrase "Born again" occurs, but 4 times "You must eat my body and drink my flesh" occurs.

John 6 occurred EXACTLY one year prior to the new Passover... the institution of the Eucharist, and the paschal mystery.

When the 100's and thousands leave him, he asks the 12 if they will leave too... and peter replies
(NAB: JN 6:68-69)
Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God."

Peter doesn't say he understands, only that 'we trust and believe you, because we know who you are, (not because we understand)' and Scott suggested that they probably didn't understand, they simply had faith that Jesus was of God and would not lie.

"the unanimous testimony of the early church fathers was that the Eucharist was the goal of all things" --Scott

After his series on John the Presbyterian Seminary offered him a Job... to teach John... he was able to go deeply into the scripture and then he asked several questions of the class... about the upper room where Christ instituted the Eucharist. "When did Passover end?" John Apserolini at the back of the class answered "Passover didn't end in the upper room but at Calgary" "When did it begin?" John answered "in the upper room"... John then told Scott that he had learned the answers to his questions from the Baltimore Catechism... (John was a former Catholic)... Scott was in disbelief that Catholics would teach this... and started Scott on his path to investigate Catholicism to see if we still taught what the Church Fathers taught (John later called Scott in 98-99 and told him that "it took me a bit longer than you, but I've come back" regarding his return to the Church)

After the year, he was later approached by the Chairman of Board of the Seminary, (Scott thought he was going to be fired for teaching "Catholic" ideas) over dinner, and was offered the job of DEAN (at 26.5 yrs old) of the seminary... he felt he had to turn it down, because he was having a crisis of faith... (he didn't know where God was calling him... to stay Presb.. or become... Episcopal...!). He quit his jobs and took an administrative job at his alma mater... to free up time to really investigate where god was calling... eventually he went to Marquette to complete his Ph.D., and he gave his wife a commitment that if he was called into the church, he would not become a catholic for at least 5 years (it was 1985)... over time and with study he began to really appreciate Mary (the assumption and immaculate conception made sense to him) and worse... he began to understand the great honor the Church fathers had for the bishop of Rome... and the obedience they gave him... he began to understand the Pope.

Then one day he stumbled into a catholic mass... and heard something he never expected... the bible being read! not once, not twice but 3 direct passages ON A WEEK DAY! He then noticed the parallels of the mass with the book of Revelations... and how it made more sense than the Rapture, Pre trib, post trib, pre mil, post mil, a mil, theologies of the protestants. He for the first time understood the saints... Rev... how the martyrs in heaven pray and god answers their prayers.

After going a few times of going to mass and taking notes he approached a local priest (and the current bishop of Lincoln Nebraska...;-) ) He read a book from Fr. Pius Parsh (or parch) about the parallels between the mass and Revelations... he talked to the priest about what would be needed to convert... the year long RCIA and..? the Priest said, "You could teach RCIA" so you wouldn't need to go through it... all you need to do is tell me you are ready and I'll accept you into the church... "how soon?" "in two weeks at Easter vigil."

He then got released from his commitment from his wife (after she got upset and prayed about it, she quickly felt God's will in it). but she asked to be there at the mass (her first). She was overwhelmed by the mass, and hurt that she couldn't receive communion with him...

She then started to study the faith (with no obligation) and fought it a lot... until ash Wednesday when she called Scott telling him that it was a wonderful day (Scott was a bit perplexed)... and how she wanted to give up something for lent (Scott was listening)... she wanted to give up... give up her fight and join the Church, where God was calling her.... She was accepted in the church in 1990, when Scott was supposed to be according to their agreement...

And that's the first talk... I'll write down notes from the second talk later... (sacraments)

stuff

so I think I'm sick... and if I am I got it while I was visiting Kat in Iowa... Visiting her was nice, though all we did was work on homework (since I had two tests yesterday)... on the way back from Iowa, as my plane was descending I learned a lesson.. if you feel congested, before you get on a plane take as many decongestants as you can... to make sure you're not congested on the descent... if you are congested on the descent you might have the same pain I discovered monday... thousands of small needles ripping into your sinuses (for me right above my eyes) so painfully you think your sinuses are going to pop from pressure, and tears stream down your face uncontrollably and hopefully mucus starts draining (cause if it doesnt you might actually have your sinuses pop)... I've never had such an acute pain before...

Anyhow... classes this week went well, I think I got A's on my tests, but I'm not sure about my Psych test... I'm almost caught up in Photography, which I should hopefully be on monday... and this weekend I need to catch up on Astronomy also... two papers too right and a take home test to finish.

Youth group is going well... I have to put in my resignation soon... so Lee is starting to take over more responsibility...

I'm going to see a talk from Scott Hanh tonight... not sure the topic... but it promises to be an interesting night.

Other than that... I've got to make like rain, and shower.

Weekend

this past weekend I was staffing an ACTS retreat (a retreat program founded by my pastor, that now is in several states, and many parishes)... the retreat was really nice, quite a bit different from NET retreats I used to staff, quite a bit more lax, but appropriate for the age group. one part is focused on a meal, and it was really nice, it reminded me of how heaven is sometimes described as a banquet... and for the first time, with all the laughing, good humor, and brotherhood, I could finally relate to Heaven that way... it's not the food... but the community.

The rest of it was pretty standard, your basic spiritual attacks, your amazing breakthroughs, everything you expect where the Spirit dwells anew.

A few odd things happend... most of which were several other men telling me I had qualities I haven't really noticed... or didn't think others appreciated/noticed....

and several men who have daughters in the Youth group told me how their youth love it... so much so that one skipped Homecomming just to be at youth group... !!

I always wonder how well I do youth group, and always think someone else could do much better... and always wanting to quit... but on the occaisions that others tell me how their youth love it, I get strengthened...

And considering how hard it is to be a youth minister, with all the spiritual and personal attacks, I can't even imagine how hard it is to be a priest/pastor or even a deacon... so I make the recommendation to everyone reading... PRAY FOR YOUR PASTORS, TELL THEM HOW GREAT A JOB THEY ARE DOING, AND BE OBEDIENT TO THEIR PROPER AUTHORITY!

College

so college next semester is looking very expensive... it's cost will be about 15k, but it will cost over time about 25k due to interest. All for one semester.. and that's assuming that I get the loan that I need which is based off of credit worthiness... which I'm not so "worthy" of ... I need to figure out how much I'll take out in loans, I can take out about 10.5k, which is what they estimate the difference of my grants/scholarships and tuition will be.

Yikes...

I hope things work out... because I really don't want to be in San Antonio any more... I want to get a degree... not just taking useless classes.

Tests

Tests tests tests... two on tuesday... and buches of work/church things to work on this weekend...

so I'll be blogging more later... after the storm.

Study and test tips...

Here are some study and tests tips... I'll try to add more as I remember/rediscover them...
Study tips:

• Study eating something, then eat the same thing while you are testing (starlight mints are reccommended)
• Hybridize to summarize (e.g., Spearmann had a theory of Generalized intelligence, Spearilzed; Thurston had an intelligence test based off of seven factors, Turseven) Just make sure that you are hybridizing relevant information for the type of test.. then study the hybridized term... repeat it over and over, and check to make sure that you remember what it represents. On a multiple choice test, this helps with recognition of the answers... whenever you see Thurston, you'll think Seven (intelligence factors) and vice-versa.
• sleep after you study something really important, or at least take a break, and do something completely different.
  
• Get a good nights rest before the test
  

Test tips:

• Be calm, medium stress... enough to be fast and have adrenaline running, not enough to be terrified... be happy and excited.
• Take MANY MANY practice tests to get used to the rhythm and style.
• Do easy ones first, SKIP ones that require thought. (Circle the question number and write below it the answer your 'gut' told you)
• Mark on your test... underline keywords, cross out definate wrong answers
• circle correct answers and move on.
• after you've answered the easy ones return to the hard ones, you might find that your mind already solved them...
• if you get bogged down, move on, and forget about it. Return later.
  
• mark answers on sheet after you've answered all the questions**WARNING** (this helps prevent mistakes from numbering when you skip a question, and keeps your mind focused on the test and not on transfering the answers, which can cause confusion and distraction, but be careful! make sure you have time to transfer the answers!!!)
• check answers... but be wary of changing your orignal answers... you usually will change them to be wrong.

IA state

So I got accepted to Iowa State the other day! But the reality of it's cost has hit... I'll need 9k in loans every semester... ouch... And this exciting news has got me scrambling to get everything in to them so I can get my Financial Aid, Transfer Credits, etc to work out. (they are transfering in over 100 Credits, and due to my ap scores, I'll start there with 41-46 local credits.)

And on top of that I have a test tomorrow that I've studied for, but could study better if I wasn't thinking about all this stuff... and trying to handle the stress... oh and I have youth group tomorrow, and I have to find a way of picking up t-shrits from the printers... shirts that are a few months overdue and I don't have a car.

*STRESS*
Praise god.
Edward

Disobedience frustrates me...

So last night we had a meeting for the retreat I'm staffing... We have two deacons on staff... one of the deacons and the Retreat leader was informing us of a decision made by our Pastor, who is also the founder of this Texas wide retreat program (there are also some retreats held in alaska and other states). Fr. Pat had said that we will make a very particular change to one of the parts of the retreat... well much selfish questioning came about that basically amounted to "well that doesn't apply to me" at which point the deacon would say "I think Father has made it very clear" and he would say the statement making it clear that there were no exceptions... after a few rounds of attacks against father's mandate, and after the deacon began to be viewed as unauthoritative, I took the floor and began by saying "I'm going to piss alot of you off... but suck it up..." I went on to say that we are men and we need to be virtuous, true, and need to be obedient, disobedience is a mortal sin according to Thomas Aquinas, its breaking one of the ten commandments, that the reason why so many young men loose their faith is because the men they look up to are hypocrites choosing when to and when not to obey... when it is something they desire, and when it is not... (at this point I was getting really impassioned because of the complete injustice that the generations of men who are not virtuous have done to my generation and the one behind me...) I ended by saying, be men of truth, of virtue and love... suck it up and obey.

Then the next person said the now imfamous (to me) phrase from the Charasmatics at my church... we need to pray about it, and see what God is calling each to... and it could be that we obey or disobey.

I hate that philosophy... yes pray, but pray for obedience, and strength to bear your cross... if a rightful autority has given a mandate or command, you must oblige... the philosophy that God would ever call you to disobedience against a just mandate is insane... is it any wonder that I am routinely struggling against this philosophy...

Charasmatics at my church, and various other sources I've been in contact with, all have the same fatal flaw... that they personally recieve messages from God which can trump everything else. (I have met some who believe in proper obedience).

I'm sorry... but that simply is not the case (even in some of the writtings of the founders of the Charasmatic movement) Disobedience to proper authority in the proper realm of their authority is always disobedience to God's plan. And thinking yourself special and above authority reminds me of one once great angel... Lucifer. And we all know that he can come in the garments of a radiant angel, fooling those who are proud, and leading them slowly against God.

I think I'm done... need to study for a psych test on tuesday.

Last night

Youth Night last night was interesting...
We had mass (YAY!) and I think the youth are really begginning to appreciate it... except that in the middle of it I was cussed at and almost hit by one of them, after asking him to stop playing with his cell phone, (he refused, and I reached to confiscate it)... I let him be after that, and he put it away, and at the end of mass he was crying... so I imagine something else is going on in his life, which I'll ask him about next week... He's a good kid...

after mass We had snacks (cheese tray, pepperoni, crackers, chips, salsa, candies) and then I split the group into MS and HS... the MS got to play cards, and hang out (I have alot less MS than I thought!) and the HS I chastised... Last week when I was gone they had been so disrespectful to my assistant that he emailed me and said he was considering quiting... Instead of a direct chastisement... I asked them what I was doing wrong that they chose to disrespect him and other adults so much... and from there I let them talk, and they came to the conclusion that it wasn't what I was doing, but that they needed to do more to be respectful...

Anyhow... as for my live in experience at the monastery, I'm still trying to sort through it... but I wasn't exactly pleased by it... they permitted non-catholics to recieve the Eucharist, and told me not to tell non-catholics that they shouldn't recieve it... the best way I could describe it is by saying that they are JFK (and possibly Kerry) type catholics... the Kennedy's are close friends of most of the monks, and the philosophy of the monks is very accepting and ambiguous... very Bhuddist... much like Merton... the quickest way of describing their philosophy is Catholic Bhuddists...

At times I felt like I was amongst a group of Greek Stoics, who weren't founded upon the rock of Peter, but the couch of comfortability with a facade of aesteticism... they are very very well off... making litterally millions of dollars a year... and they don't need it to support the grounds as they already have a fund that does that... and when I asked them about what the money went too, the vocations director got offended... and then said well we have to pay for 3 squares a day, and then proceeded to mention some other things, and only at the end almost justifyingly, saying oh and we also do almsgiving.

But I ultimately found that I wasn't there for myself so much as for my best friend, and four strangers I met, one from indiana, one "refugee" trying to get back on his feet, and two women on my flight back... they all needed Christ's truth, and were comforted by the love of Christ, and True church teaching as opposed to the misunderstandings they've always been told about both... I'll probably be posting some journal entries I wrote on my retreat... perhaps.

Just got back

So I just got back yesterday night (11pm ish)... and was completely exhausted... didn't go to school today... yesterday when I was leaving the abbey I almost hyperventilated when I realised I had to come back to work and school... last night my pre-emptive hyperventilation proved an ominous sign.

Why must stupid things always aggrivate my anxiety.

Waiting...

Waiting for monday... trying to square away Youth Group for tuesday while I'm gone... wondering what the Abbey will be like... wondering if I am forgetting to do something... wanting to buy new bike stuff for my birthday... waiting until my friends figure out what they want to buy (to save on shipping)... and wanting to do something... and yet nothing at the same time... I cleaned up my rear derailleur, and tried to fix it... wasnt able to fix it, only hopefully "patch" it up... I think It'll ride for some time longer, but I'm still going to be looking into a new rear derailleur... which might actually be really hard to find, considering the age of my bike and the style of derailleur being quite antiquated... what should I pack for the Trappist week? I'm thinking jeans... maybe a pair of shorts... don't know...

today

so today I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm and decided to sleep until my alarm...
2 hours later... I awake in horror as I look at my clock... 10.05am and my test is at 11.00... my bus to class was supposed to leave at 9.30pm... realising that if I biked to class I had to fix my bike and then actually bike at speed for an hour to get to class about 30 minutes after it began... my only option was to find if someone could give me aride... after calling three people... the fourth was my saving grace... Susan had just left her house to pick up some stuff at the store, and was very lovely in agreeing to pick me up, and take me to class... we got there with 5 minutes to spare, and having had a really nice conversation... So I stand out side of the class room (its not my normal class) waiting for the prof to go in... (he always arrives right on time, so I decided to follow him in). From the moment I sat down at 11:01 it took me until 11:20 to finish it and until 11:28 to check it... (I'm pretty sure I got a 100%)... afterwards, I still had enough time to walk halfway down town (then I hopped a bus) and was able to make 12 noon mass!! Now that's a nice reward for finishing my test quickly... I was almost in Academic Decathlon Mode... ... ... but I decided to slow my self down on the test... because there was no need to speed through it, possibly sloppily... and I didn't think the rest of the class would appreciate this stranger "beating them"... I figured it would be slightly demoralising and not help their grades any... so I waited until the first person finished to turn mine in.

Upon Eagles Wings

The profundity of John Paul II's openning for Fides Et Ratio, "Faith and reason are like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth" has been churning in my mind, being at every moment turned and aerated with new applications and new understandings.

The parallel with wings, has as of late been especially interesting to ponder... an eagle with great wings knows it must fly, and YEARNS to fly, but if it thinks itself a turtle, it will not fly... So too a New Ager or Bhuddist who refuses to use Reason or Faith, and relies solely upon baser desires or the nothingness of relativity.

The true atheist or unreasonable believer is like an eagle with one solidly broken wing... it aspires to truly amazing heights, and perchance by luck it might catch a strong gust, that will aide it briefly higher, but without the strength of the other wing, it can do nothing but fall from that height... a fall of and into depression; for the atheist, of not knowing the grace and beauty of faith... of not knowing the beauty of God, for the unreasonable believer, of not knowing the beauty of themselves... of not knowing the beauty of reason.

But for the True believer... they are the eagles with full wings... the eagles that scream heavenward, upon two solid wings... yearning yet still to go higher, but satisfied that they have done their all... and when the gust of grace comes, they are ready to grab hold of it and ride yet higher... and let out cries of Joy for knowing they have gone higher not by their power but by that of God.

And yet there is another group... the group most fall into... that is the sparrows... those that believe, and those that reason, but do neither well... and choose to do neither well... they see the eagle and deny that they could ever be... they see the "turtle" and are happy that they are smarter... they have no desire, have no heart, they are those dead souls that walk around, those dead souls that have been granted the greatest gift, and yet refuse to open it... choosing rather to have little faith, and little reason, and be content... they are the ones that sadden us all... the lukewarm that will be spat out.

A new springtime.

So I am really excited to go to Gethsemani Abbey!!! I haven't had a silent retreat in over a year... and the stillness of soul and action was so BEAUTIFUL that I couldn't help but smile at the smallest displays of God's beauty... from leaves to the cool grass, to the smile of strangers, the beauty of words... I can't WAIT!! Being near so many men that seek holiness, is so edifying to a weary soul. Knowing that the Truth has touched other lives so much that they can't help but give their everything in service, that they can't rest until they rest in Thee, knowing that the radical love of Christ is still present in His Church today... Being near holy men makes me want so much to be on their path... but more so it reminds me of my own... and strengthens me on my quest.

So I commisioned this shirt...

I had the youth group vote on t-shirt designs several months ago, and this is the design they chose from about 20 designs (I drew it several years ago): (the runner up actually was used for a retreat shirt)



This design is called the Sacred Heart of the Trinity... 13 large rays for the Apostles and Mary (Mary is the largest flame, at the very peak of the circle, to her right is Bartholomew who went North West to Armenia, James the Less who was thrown from the Pinnacle of the Temple, pointing to the Right (east) is Thomas who went to India, then Jude who went to Persia, Simon who went to Arabia and Peter is at the bottom, reminding us of his Crucifixion upside down, and his humility to serve Christ as the Rock of the Church), Next is his brother Andrew who was crucified on his side, then Mathias and Matthew who went to Ethiopia to the south, the Left ray (pointing west) is James the Greater who went to Spain, then Phillip who went northwest to Phrygia(near turkey), and finally John the Beloved next to Mary, and who went north west to Ephesus (in modern Turkey) 33 small rays for the Doctors of the Church, creating a monstrance around the Eucharist (Jesus), that is centered upon the Heart of the Father (White for perfection, and the Center of all as a representation of Him being the origin of all), with three flames representing the Trinity (each flame has two flames inside it representing each of the others)

The left Flame is the Father(white) and represents the order of procession and revelation in History, with the son (gold) proceeding from Him, and the Holy Spirit (beige) proceeding from, and "after" both (technically there is no time difference between the existence of the three persons, as they always were, are and will be). The Right Flame is the Son and tells the story of the Holy Spirit's procession. The son and the father loved each other so much that between them, they created the Holy Spirit. (Order for the flame is Son, Holy Spirit, Father), the Central Flame is the Holy spirit and tells of His Being sent by the Father, who was asked to do so by the Son. (Holy spirit, Father, Son) So at the origin of His revelation to us in History is the Son, and the Spirit always reminds everyone that the Origin of His purpose in History is to center everyone on the pinnacle of Creation, History, and Love, Jesus Christ.

The Crown of Thorns is a living Green, representing the Body and Mystical Body of Christ, and a reminder of the Sacrifice he paid for our salvation. The Crown signifies the focus of all time, the Birth of God as man, and God inviting us into the very center of His life, by becoming members of His Body.

The Crown sits about the Cross, which is inside the Heart of the Father, as it was the Father's plan for salvation before all time... The cross is the constant reminder that God Himself paid for our sins, by His sheer Goodness and eternal love for us.

So… now look at how the t-shirt company interpreted the drawing… and tell me what is immediately evident about the substance of the new drawing versus the old…

needless to say I asked them to stick with my original...

WHOA!

So I open my email today and find 38 NEW Messages for me... I haven't had this amount of email since I was a Computer consultant...

Guess what the majority were? VOCATION information...

Yup... that's right... Hey come be a priest here, or a monk here... how about a friar ?

I think I'll look into them a bit more tomorrow or after Youth group tonight... I don't have the time to devote right now...

Speaking of Vocation, my teachers have acceded to me taking two days off to go to Gethsemani Abbey for a
week... YAY! that will be really nice...

Also in my psy class I had the highest grade... and I only missed one question more than the teacher did when he took the test, after he made it. But unfortunately in my Logic class, I think I mis-identified two questions as "consistent" when they were "contingent"... so my tiredness might have caught up with me on that test... I'll find out thursday.

Praise God.
Edward

Pain Pain Go away... TREE! ouch.

So I went off road biking today with dan.. and now I'm in a bit of pain... I tried using clipless pedals again... the last time, I got fustrated and hit so many things that I decided to switch back to normal pedals off road... and I used my clipless on my road bike... well the other night I successfully cliped out (as a reaction, as opposed to having to think about it) when I was about to fall over, when I was in 1 foot high water that I decided to try them off road... well the problem I had this time, was not the clipping out, but the clipping in... I used my half clipless/half platform pedals... and that was the dangerous part as I discovered off road... (it was sort of funny because I began to relate it to my faith walk).... because I didn't commit to full clipless pedals, the half platform pedals not only frustrated my efforts, but actually caused me various wounds and crashes... The problem was the platform side had teeth that got in the way of my shoes clipping in... causing me to have to focus on clipping in and causing me to take alot of time to clip in.... I guess its like Revelations when God says to be either hot or cold... the danger to me was not being attached to my bike, but not being able to be attached to my bike... and once I had one spill, and the frustration and stress form that, I hit several trees after that because I was second guessing myself, and I couldn't get up to speed because it took so much time to get clipped back in...
So next time I go out, I'm either going to use full clipless or full platform... nothing in the middle...

Anyhow... so aside from the gashes in my shin and a few cuts on the front and back of my ankle, I'm good... oh and I got rope burn from a weed that was litterally ten feet tall... it had fallen halfway over into the middle of the path and it's head got bent around my arm and caught between my arm and my body... causing it to give me a rope burn as It pulled back around... we also ran into some guys getting drunk on the trail... I could smell the alcohol as I rode up the hill by them... Praise God for frustration, reminding us that even our best efforts can be defeated by the simplest of things... and only with God can we do anything lasting, of worth, and perfect.

A Penitent Blogger: Archbishop v. Kennedy-Cuomo

A Penitent Blogger: Archbishop v. Kennedy-Cuomo

Archbishop Chaput is the BEST! He has an awesome seminary(I know, I've met most of the guys two years ago, and I stayed with them for a week and a half), and is a great leader of Denver and the Church.

Youth Group

Last night we did youth group... it turned out pretty well... though the game went long, the talk went long, and by the time I realised it, we ended up cutting 10 minutes out of adoration time...

The topic yesterday was the morality of actions but I told them the theme was "trustworthy" since it was easier to remember, and is a rough approximation of the topic.

I really focused on CCC 1759
"'An evil action cannot be justified by reference to a good intention' (cf. St. Thomas Aquinas, Dec. praec. 6). The end does not justify the means"

I tried to give them an understanding of Part 3 Section 1 Chapter 1 Article 4 of the Catechism (The morality of human acts)... I think I lost them briefly, so I tried to restate it in a simpler way, and the simplist I could get was "The end does not justify the means" and "good can not come from evil" without losing the basic understanding... even then it lost some of the meaning... but in common language and understanding, I think it was adequate. I also used "Be holy because I am holy" 1 pt 1:16 and "Be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect" Matt. 5:48 as quick verses.

Interesting though, was one of their questions (they tend to ask questions that are quite intelligent, and they don't realise how intelligent). The question was about obeying a "bad" law. I started by saying that even then you should obey it (I was going to refer to Thomas' arguments from De Regimine Principum about Tyrannts and how even if you could overthrow them, you would risk disunity, a greater tyrannt and other great concerns that could greatly out weigh the sins of the tyrannt., but I ended up referring to 1 peter 1-3, about slaves obeying even perverse masters. ) Another of the youth (I was not going to call on him, because we were running over time) added that sometimes laws are not valid laws. And then a mother mentioned briefly about abortion. Which brought me to talk about spheres of authority (another misunderstood concept by most people) and how the Government can't make valid laws that are not within its sphere of authority... Such as permitting abortion... since the only authority who has the right over life and death, is God.

I gave the example of how as a youth minister I can ask anyone in the youth group to obey me, (some one said "but you can't demand that they do it", which I said, I *could* command them, and if they didn't obey I could ask them to leave the youth group. And the mother said, that even she would be obliged by the 4th commandment to obey, if I asked her to do something.) Then I mentioned how if I went to another ministry and walked in and told people to do things, that I would not have the authority, because my sphere of authority is the youth group, and that's it. I get my authority from Fr. Pat, and I give authority to the adults and young adults. They get their authority from me directly, and indirectly from Father, though they could always appeal to a higher authority than me if they felt that I was not doing something right.

Anyhow... the night was good, and the mother really liked it (it was her first time to come, she sent her younger son to join us last week, and she was so amazed by how happy he was, and how joyful he was about what he told her. I had told them the quote "If you only knew how much Jesus loves you in the Eucharist, you would die of joy" from St. John vianney I think. The topic last week was the radical love of Christ, and I told them what the parable of the lost sheep meant to the people of the time... since today we arent shepards and we have heard it so many times that most of us have forgotten how radical what Jesus said in that parable really was.)

Then later a father of one of the youth (he was in a different meeting) came up and told me and Lee about how much youth group has changed his daughter... (and she's only in middle school).

So last night God was trying to uplift me, and humble me, which only he can do at the same time. I was very thankful for hearing the praise of both of those parents.

Thanks be to God, who chooses to send His light through a glass of dirty water like me! How amazing, merciful, and magnanimous is His love!!!
Abba Father, I adore thee.
Edward

Rain rain go away... well maybe not

so susan and I went biking today up I-10 from the 1604 interchange... we started around 645p and set an easy pace (averaging 13mph) ... the road was okay... not the best (bandera road's ample space is still the best for the major roads outside 1604)... for the first half it was nice, the sun was beginning to set and there was no rain... when we turned around, it got dark really fast and not expecting it to get dark so quickly, I left my head light at home (thankfully my tail light is bolted on my bike...) the way back was going much faster... when rain hit... the rain was small pellets that felt like needles on our faces... and I had to take my glasses off because I couldnt see. when we went through a lower area, a fine mist/fog was forming and it was really beautiful with the headlights of the cars piercing through it... when we got back to the interchange, the overpasses had these waterfalls coming off... and I was thinking that I wanted to go under one when susan said she wanted to... so when we got back into the parking lot, we rode below the waterfalls, it was quite fun!

I was so soaked (even before the waterfalls) that my shoes were buckets of water.

It was fun, but I learned two lessons.. 1. bring head light... 2. bring towel for post ride dry-off.

Praise God for fun!

tests

the thing I like least about college are the first exams in each class... you never know what really to expect, and yet it can still affect your grade greatly. Today I have astronomy... and I have no clue if I'm prepared... I think I might be... but then again, I could be wrong.

Financial Mgmt

So in theory I just helped my mom with a financial management take home test... the help is theoretical because I HAVE NEVER TAKEN A FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT CLASS... so I simply used the Skills I learned way back when on how to take open book tests on blind subjects, aka subjects you've never seen. This skill set is actually an amalgamation of two things I learned... how to take open book tests you never studied for and get a near perfect score(a very frequent occurence for me in High School), and how to take tests on subjects you've never seen nor heard of, and still get above a 70% (this was a sport of sorts we used to play in High School)... Ah... the AcaDec days... *misty eyed* how I miss them...

Anyhow... so assuming the information I gleamed from the book and the questions was all I needed to know and I didn't neglect something, I helped my mom out... but if I missed something, then I hurt her... but hey, its four a.m. and both our minds are about to shut down completely... so at least using me was better than guessing. (she was about to resort to that).

I think that Financial Managment is basically a course in equation learning... in which case, the class could be summed up by a page and a half long equation sheet with nice lettering, and bold fonts, yes BOLD fonts... not that italic stuff you Americans like... wait I'm American... if that's the case then what really is the point in taking a Financial Managment class?

But then again, I did learn in High School that all business classes were basically the same except accounting.. that class required drawing really straight lines... Ah, Accounting! The Art class for business students... no wonder why I decided to not subject myself to the mind numbing pain of business in college... Taking a whole semester to learn something that you could look up in a reference book in under five minutes...

So I like this guy's posts...

penitens.blogspot.com
I especially like this one:
Catholic Voting

Mass

Went to mass today... and told a few of my friends that I hope to be leaving in January... they understand, but they'll miss me... Susan says she sees something that I don't... and several others have said the same... I don't know... maybe its because of my past that God gave it to me... maybe... Susan says that when people have it, they seem to show up in a place for a short amount of time before being sent somewhere else where it's needed... its strange because everytime I move somewhere I always feel oppressed and attacked, and only at the end of my time do I feel the peace of God... maybe thats why He sends... maybe. I wish I knew the best way to serve Him... I wish I knew what to say to those who attack Him... I wish I knew... Susan impressed me greatly tonight, someone was attacking God, and I was wondering if I should say something, and if so, what, what would the person be willing to hear, and not turn away the person even more from God? Susan spoke up, and defended Him... and then I felt God telling me what to say...and I said it, the funny thing is, that the person should have heard what God wanted him to hear, but I don't think he wanted to hear it... he liked his own way too much, that he wasn't willing to see God's way, even though Jesus was speaking in this man's own language...

I guess I should be eternally grateful for what God has given me... for the gift of knowing Him... the gift of loving Him... I guess God was humbling me to prayer... to know that when it's God's perfect time, this person will experience Him, and then this person will decide... all I can do is pray, and listen to the Spirit... do what He says, and trust and know He will do the rest.

Yahweh... the eternal I am... the constant lover of the world, the constant lover of man. I am in awe of thy wonder. Even when you use me, you humble me ever more.

I love you,
Edward

Confession

So today I went to confession (had to bike 7 ish miles to get there...) I love how God respects Humans so much that He became a man... and I love how He continues to respect each and everyone of us, as both spiritual and physical beings, in the sacraments... especially reconcilliation, ain't nothing better than being cleansed body and soul by the person of Christ.

Anyhow, I went to St. Anthony Mary Claret, for confession, and I decided to stay and participate in Mass... I mean really... do you have to pull my arm to make me go to mass? What's better than participating in heaven? I really liked mass at St. Claret, because they respected the Eucharist so well! and I always love it when bells are rung at mass, reminding us that the angels and our brothers and sisters in heaven are at that very moment on bended knee in union with us, worshiping Jesus, and remembering his one sacrifice for all times.

The priest also gave a good homily.

I've been reading Fides Et Ratio (faith and reason) lately, and I'm so completely amazed how brilliant and reasonable Pope John Paul II is...

I was reading it thursday and I was struck by one particular passage that I've been sending to my good friends. The passage strikes me because of its amazing depth... it deals with the word of God, some philosophical abuses by some today, with what it is and then it shows us the incredible hope it offers.

"There are also signs of a resurgence of fideism, which fails to recognize the importance of rational knowledge and philosophical discourse for the understanding of faith, indeed for the very possibility of belief in God. One currently widespread symptom of this fideistic tendency is a “biblicism” which tends to make the reading and exegesis of Sacred Scripture the sole criterion of truth. In consequence, the word of God is identified with Sacred Scripture alone, thus eliminating the doctrine of the Church which the Second Vatican Council stressed quite specifically. Having recalled that the word of God is present in both Scripture and Tradition,(73) the Constitution Dei Verbum continues emphatically: “Sacred Tradition and Sacred Scripture comprise a single sacred deposit of the word of God entrusted to the Church. Embracing this deposit and united with their pastors, the People of God remain always faithful to the teaching of the Apostles”.(74) Scripture, therefore, is not the Church's sole point of reference. The “supreme rule of her faith” (75) derives from the unity which the Spirit has created between Sacred Tradition, Sacred Scripture and the Magisterium of the Church in a reciprocity which means that none of the three can survive without the others.(76)"

Fides Et Ratio, paragraph 55

The thing I found so amazing whas how it talked about the word of God being the unity of both Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition (I had never heard it so explicity stated) and then goes on to say that the unity of "Sacred Tradition, Sacred Scripture and the Magisterium of the Church" means that no one of them can live without the other and still be considered the living word of God. If you neglect the Scriptures, you neglect Christ, if you neglect the Traditions, you neglect Christ, and if you neglect the Magisterium, you neglect Christ, and if you neglect Christ in anyway, you only posess a semblance of the dead word of God, not the full living word. Ever since the Holy Spirit descended upon the Apostles at Pentecost has Tradition and the Magisterium existed... they are older than the canon of Sacred Scripture itself! But so many today neglect the living action of the Holy Spirit granted to the Apostles, and handed down, to our very day in the Catholic Church. Through the same actions that Christ used to comission the Apostles... by his very breath.

John 20:22-23
"And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, 'Receive the holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.'"

<>A physical sign of a spiritual reality... the very first Sacrament, given by Christ after His death... I think it's interesting that when He gave the Apostles the Holy Spirit, He also gave them the Authority to forgive sins!

Anyhow... I think I'm on a tangent from my original point... in fact I don't think I can remember my orignal point... c'est la vie. Well... here is the quote that Fides Et Ratio is referring to from Vatican II's document Dei Verbum (the word of God):

10. Sacred tradition and Sacred Scripture form one sacred deposit of the word of God, committed to the Church. Holding fast to this deposit the entire holy people united with their shepherds remain always steadfast in the teaching of the Apostles, in the common life, in the breaking of the bread and in prayers (see Acts 2, 42, Greek text), so that holding to, practicing and professing the heritage of the faith, it becomes on the part of the bishops and faithful a single common effort. (7)

DEI VERBUM, paragraph 10

Why I re-joined the bloggers...

so the last time I had a "blog" there was no such thing as blogs... I had written a program on my unix computer at work to post my journal entries, poetry, art etc... it was actually quite nice and very effective... and customizable to the max... (considering that I wrote the program) I have an "online diary" which is practically the same thing as a blog... though not quite as cool to say... anyhow... and its no where near as easy to access... It's been a while since I updated it, though I just looked at it, and apparently my girlfriend updated it and changed my preferences... (you'll see what I mean) Open Diary Site
I don't know if I'll update this blog ever... I wish I had access to a unix machine.. because then I could revive my webpage... (it was schweet) and then I'd really start posting entries... I miss working on UNIX... :-(

God bless and keep you, (num 6:24-27)
Edward

p.s., yah so the answer to the subject of this post is... so I could write on a classmate's blog...