Day Five

Day five 12/29/06
129am... In the train station, the hostel was closed for the season, despite online saying they had one room left... Crazy... Hoping to stay up and awake enough to function tommorrow... Also missed my train earlier so I had to take the one an hour later and 9,68 euro more
151am
I 'm at least saving on housing tonight... So effectively the cost of this part of the trip is 8 euro and no sleep over the cost of rome. I still haven't figured out the cost of living in nyc for one day... 17$/night (or 34 right now) food is about 10$ a day when I eat cheap... Metro is about 2.50/day if you buy a month long pass. And that's my basic expenses... Which means I avg about 30$ a day or 47 right now... Which is 24 to 38 euro...
Lemme fig out my avg cost in europe...
206pm
It looks like I've spent 13$ more than I would have in nyc (aside from airfare)... 16$ of which is souvenirs...
Not too bad!
I wonder if i'll come out even minus the plane cost?
209am
854am
I just read the angelus in my copy of l'osservatore romano... Amazing.
Benedict is speaking right to my recent experience...
"but let us also think of those people, especially the young, who have lost their sense of true joy and seek it in vain where it is impossible to find it: in the exasperated race to self-affirmation and success, in false amusements, in consumerism, in moments of drunkenness, in the artificial paradise of drugs and every form of alienation. We must obviously face the liturgy today and its 'Rejoice' with these tragic realities."

Recently I've struggled with believing in joy... Thinking (and at times of darkness I still do) that it can never be attained. That it is but a fantasty used to control and not to free. It doesn't help that at times I felt so so very alone in my hope that doubt crept back in. I believe that God can change the world. Yet at the same time my doubts of his existence fight with my very beliefs in Him.

But I know how joyous I once was... A joy I never dreamt of, a joy that freed me to roll down hills and go "wheeeeee" and not be conncerned about embarrassment... A joy that still continues to free me to be the very gentle childish heart I was born to be. A joy that destroys all cynicism with the overwhelming warmth of experience.

I never thought it existed, I never thought He existed until it came and He showed His hidden face.

Crazy.
910am
I had stayed up all night, getting a bit of sleep on the train in the station and on the doorstep of some place I thought was a ferry agency, but turned out to only be a very cold (but covered) place to sit and nap.
Eventually (around 530) I got up and decided to walk around, ultimately deciding to pulse out more travelling cash (to be safe if I need to exchange in bosnia or pay in cash my ferry ride) and then to find a mass. The atm was indoors so I was able to warm myself (my blue blanket is now wrapped around my chest beneath my coat). Afterwards I walked a round and searched for a church (for the first time in italy not seeing any within a block of walking). I followed my feet around two quick corners and stumbled unto an open and unmarked church door (it surprised me as it was still before 6)... When I went in I asked in my very best broken SpanTalian "Missa, que ora?" and got back some italian that I figured from my FreNish meant 730am. So I sat down deciding that an hour and a half of prayer in a warmer than outside church was an acceptable alternative to frigid sleep. I knelt at the front as only three of us were inside, expecting that later on they'd move up for mass. I prayed a rosary... And then on the eve of the last mystery (finding jesus in the temple) they (they now being several more people than I remember present) started something in Italian (I strongly suspect). And then an old nun walked up to the altar and I was very confused... Then she walked to the tabernacle and still I was confused... Then she turned the key... Still... Then she took something out... And I dropped to my knees (or at least I would have if I hadn't already been there) and a ginourmous grin graced my face uncontrollably. We were having adoration before mass! How amazing a coincidence! (this is not at all a common occurrence in churches, and to my experience this is unique in parishes). So I finished my rosary, read some of john, meditated and then did morning prayer and meditated more... Then I started hearing more italian and I'm thinking its an Angelus or benediction, but it was neither repetitive like an angelus nor did any priest get up for the benediction... So I sat and tried to figure it out when it began to ring a bell... The morning prayer in Italian! So I hurriedly picked up my book and followed in english :-) how joyous to be part of a community... Even if I couldn't fully understand.

After mass, I went to the happening tabacci and grabbed a croisant and macchiato (probably taking them both wrongly). But I deserved a reward for figuring things out and getting to mass... And it was nice to be in a store that catered to locals (cause locals are nice to be around, and cause you don't have to worry about getting ripped off, so you can order whatever and not ask the price.) then I went and found the ferry I need to take and it looks like it will be cheaper than the train by a lot (20+ euro) and i should get a bed... Assuming I can get the student discount.
Well... That's my day so far!
God bless!
938am
1013am
Just discovered that trajan's arch is in this city as well as an 11th ct cathedral ... Also I got the student rate of 21euro... No bed though sold out.
After I got the ticket I noticed a mary statue... More specifically one that looked like the mary in my new medjugorge book that I started to read today... She was facing me with a peaceful smile and offering hand.
1017am
1246pm
I love the smell of real bakeries... But all I know how to say is two... Dou-ehy good thing I wanted two pieces of bread... 58cents :-)
1247
253pm
Tired... Trying not to pass out... About to go grocery shopping maybe some salami and cheese... Meds need take meds...
255pm
301pm
I'm so tired, I was just reading italian, understanding it (and words i've never seen) and not even realising it.
Whoa... Very tired.
302pm
315
www.bli-ferry.com Blue line ferry
412pm
Found a 99cent store... Yay! Bought a pack of 2 bars soap, shampoo, nail clippers (forgot to clip before I left) in a travel sewing kit, and a bag I can use to organise my cord stuff with. All for 3.96 and no extra charge for the bag =) yay!
414pm
Crazy? A piazza j.f. Kennedy in the middle of a smallish italian town!
416
510pm
A note I came across reminded me that on the plane there was a lot of static just in my neighbor's and my earphones... A very lot actuall, it would go in and out at irregular frequentcies.
512
822
So I'm currently making my bed between a recycling can and a door... In a hallway... Go figure. This is gonna be interesting.
824
It doesn't help that the only pilgrim I found who spoke english said the place would be packed.
909
Paul has given me a spare air bed float to sleep on, some others have given me a piece of a sandwich and an orange. :-)
And I have a ride but don't know how much it will cost. C'est la vie :-)
911
Getting there is the important part.
I'm tired and after I eat I just might sleep hard.
912
1003
Sleepy time
720am
This morning I woke briefly at 3, decided to wash my face and found a shower! So I took a nice warm shower that felt very nice. I then did morning prayer and promptly passed out after hanging up my towel. When I woke my towel was dry! Yay! Yay! And yay again for the shower!
I think I've found some people who will help me find a bus, so I hope that works out.
I need some water.
723am

Trains are fancier in europe than in the US or in India...

The train station...

Trajan's arc

Hetti decided to fix me lunch

Apparently the banks in italy have this system where only a few people can get in, and they have to go through these security locks... one side opens then closes and then the other side does, after you've submitted a bunch of info to get in. crazy.

My bed on the ferry.